After losing Baby Sellers I've read blogs from other baby loss mama's and many of them have talked about seeing or finding signs that make them believe their baby is okay. For example seeing butterflies, dragonflies, a beautiful sunset and many other things that make them feel closer to their babies. Since losing my baby I have been praying and looking every where for a sign that my baby is okay. I like to think I have been pretty open to anything that may have been a sign from up above, but I haven't felt like I've seen one...until today that is.
Iowa is experiencing some much warmer weather than usual for this time of year (60's in December in Iowa?!) so I decided to take advantage of this lovely weather and take Hank for a walk. About a mile into our walk I happen to look down at the ground and see this...
Now for those of you who don't know this is what the ribbon for pregnancy and infant loss looks like, blue and pink ribbon wrapped together. Quite the coincidence huh!? And right as I'm bending down to pick it up my Pandora station starts playing In My Arms by Plumb, the lyrics to this song talk about a mother wanting to protect her child from the cruel world:
Your curly cues, your contagious smile
And as I watch, you start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight
Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in but you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies
When the clouds will rage
And storms will race in but you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always, always love you
When the clouds will rage
And storms will race in but you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms, in my arms
This song makes me cry every time I hear it, because I would have done everything in my power to protect my baby. This song also reminds me that no matter what I will be safe in God's arms, and he will carry me through the parts of my life that are just too hard. I've been waiting for a sign that would tell me my baby is okay, that I will be okay....I think I just got it.
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